Pictured: Russian and Chinese troops in Greenland.

Donald Trump was right! Greenland has been invaded!

Can he drive out the Russians and the Chinese?

18th January, 2026.

It happened then! The warning (according to Donald Trump) has been proven to be accurate. Not long after Trump said he will acquire Greenland 'one way or another', the Russians and Chinese decided to get in first. "What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander", Vladimir Putin said. He added, if it is OK for America to plan to invade another country, then nobody can complain when we do it. Understand? Chinese President Xi Jinping put it another way. "The duck swam across the pond to find new feeding grounds." Well ... that was his way of putting it.

So what happens next? Fakir News has a spy in the Kremlin who tells us that Greenland will be divided North to South. The Chinese will establish bases on the Eastern side of the country, while the Russians will occupy the Western side. Each of these plots of land will be demarcated by a row of snowmen standing side-by-side and holding the flags of the respective countries.

The first military bases are already under construction by both sides. But more will follow. The Canadians remain impassive. Despite being much closer to Greenland than America, they seem to be quite calm about this development. This may be because they think America may just try to invade Canada. They need all the friends they can get if this happens - and Trump has gone on record saying it would be beneficial for Canada to become part of the United States. As the Canadians see their neighbours as hostile, perhaps it would be better to side with the Russians and Chinese. Why not give it a chance to work, they are thinking.

How Greenland will be divided.

A permanent settlement?

Both Vladimir Putin and Xi Jinping know how to deal with Trump. Cut a deal with the old fool, they think. So here's the deal that is being spoken of in closed circles: Russia and China surrender Greenland to the Americans in exchange for Russia getting all of Ukraine, and China getting Taiwan. Will something as threacherous as this take place? Or is Trump bold enough, or stupid enough to take on two superpowers? An unnamed war strategy advisor in the White House has suggested dropping a nuclear bomb on Greenland to melt the snow and ice and drown both the Russians and Chinese. Yes, it's a crazy idea, but one which is not out of place in Trump's administration. The place is full of cuckoo-brained crackpots, so expect anything to happen.

The world awaits the outcome of this drama with bated breath.