24th December, 2025: End of another disappointing year

So tired.

Without going over old ground, life continues to grind me down. I cannot find any highlights for the year and feel it has been almost wasted.

Life has got to be much better than this, and yet being hamstrung by increasing ill-health is not allowing me the relief of seeing any light at the end of a very long and dark tunnel.

It's actually coming to the point where I wish I had never been born. If I had the money, I'd leave my current location and find somewhere more isolated where nothing can disturb me. Perhaps if I were younger I could achieve this, but the burden of old age is restricting. It's even worse now that the establishment in the UK is restricting what you can do and say with the threat of being imprisoned - and just for daring to call a spade a spade. Same in Europe, so where does one feel safe speaking their mind? Extremist threats are one thing, but calling out politicians for their hypocrisy, their crimes (which they legitimise by the laws they create, or have already created), their stupidity and ignorance ... where does one stop? How soon before 'Big Brother' controls everything you try to say, and think? How soon before life and the freedoms you should be allowed to enjoy become meaningless? Not that this bothers to me if I isolate myself somewhere and try and recover at least a few crumbs of comfort.

The big challenge, assuming I ever had enough cash to free myself from the madness that is spiralling into total chaos, is to convince the wife of a life restricted to living a more peaceful existence. And there's the rub. Unless two minds work in unison, more division is created in one's life.

There is no escape, is there? Only in death do we find real peace, and while I have absolutely no desire too move on in this way, the prospect of it becomes less depressing.

Merry Christmas? I don't think so. My worst medical condition is the state of my lungs. Every day I feel the strain of trying to rid myself of the effects this handicap has upon me. Mornings are the worst as I feel like s**t when I wake up. Every day this happens. There is no respite. So, my last hope is escaping to a cleaner environment with cleaner air. When I lived in North Wales, I did at least experience this and often walked up the Great Orme in Llandudno. Bit of a hike, but a good feeling, and some beautiful views at the top of the hill. My only problem now is that I'm 71 years old, and I do not know where I belong any more. I feel lost - even allowing for the lovely people in my extended family. These are the ones who do give me some sense of belonging. In the UK, I have a younger sister and she and her family are my only bond there. But where they live is not a place I would wish to return to. But perhaps if I lived not too far way from them? Who knows? Do I really care any more? Only a change of environment can answer that question.

30th November, 2025: Not quite 'lifering' time ... yet.

Daily routines are becoming very predictable.

Another episode where someone (or some people) want to come and see our house and decide on a possible purchase. Once again (yes, it has happened before), nobody turns up. It's not so bad if they actually have the courtesy to inform me and the wife if they are not coming, but no. The Filipino way is just to ignore protocol, and good manners.

To be honest, if they turn up later, then I'd be inclined not to sell to them. They can certainly forget any special deals if they have such contempt for us as sellers. I also have to say that in a similar style, buyers are always looking for further discounts on any you have already offered them. They are just reluctant to part with any cash - and only because they are offended that they have driven the price so low that it is no longer practical to deal. Some of them want your blood, and then even more. A bit like vampires, you could say.

This is the environment here. You have to be a bit canny and now how to get the deal you want, and not what is being expected, or even demanded, of you. Is 2026 going to get better for us? Who knows? We need to sell, but not cut our own throats in the process. And I despise greedy people who have money, but still want to cheat you out of every last Peso. They can quite literally 'f**k off'. And so we move on. Another month, another wait for fate to smile upon us.

My postscript to this short entry is that it's almost Christmas time again. We don't have a chimney so Santa will have nowhere to enter our premises and leave us the gift of a nice juicy sale. Maybe we should build one? If only that were true. But even then, and knowing our luck, I expect he would just fly straight over our subdivision and ignore us (and at least one of his reindeer would also crap on us). Conclusion, no Christmas cheer yet again - except from the bottle of a suitably strong alcoholic beverage. Never mind, perhaps it is fate. But we will sell eventually. Until then, just drag on with the usual monotonous daily routines.

24th October, 2025: Time for someone else to speak.

I am reproducing some text from infamous Nazi, Hermann Goering. There is a good reason for this, I promise.

With all the talk about Russia being a threat to the 'free world' (don't make me laugh), I thought I'd repeat something once uttered by Hermann Goering. It is very relevant to today's world where many evil and recklessly stupid people are trying to frighten us, and create a self-fulfilling prophecy - one where Russia is forced into a corner and has to go to unspeakable lengths to defend itself.

It's about starting World War III, and the Nazification of some nations (especially Ukraine). Read on and see how what happened all those years ago in Germany is being repeated again in the UK, and Europe.

BEGIN:

The quote cited ... does not appear in transcripts of the Nuremberg trials because although Goering spoke these words during the course of the proceedings, he did not offer them at his trial. His comments were made privately to Gustave Gilbert, a German-speaking American intelligence officer and psychologist who was granted free access by the Allies to all the prisoners held in the Nuremberg jail. Gilbert kept a journal of his observations of the proceedings and his conversations with the prisoners, which he later published in the book Nuremberg Diary. The quote offered above was part of a conversation Gilbert held with a dejected Hermann Goering in his cell on the evening of 18 April 1946, as the trials were halted for a three-day Easter recess:

"We got around to the subject of war again and I said that, contrary to his attitude, I did not think that the common people are very thankful for leaders who bring them war and destruction. "Why, of course, the people don't want war," Goering shrugged. "Why would some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best that he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece. Naturally, the common people don't want war; neither in Russia nor in England nor in America, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship or a Parliament or a Communist dictatorship.

"Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

Some sixty-five years on, Gilbert's book The Psychology of Dictatorship: Based on an Examination of the Leaders of Nazi Germany is still a highly regarded entry in its field.

Source: Gilbert, G.M., Nuremberg Diary. New York: Farrar, Straus and Company, 1947 (pp. 278-279).

END.

And there we have it. History repeating itself and the same mistakes being made again. Except there is no mistakes this time around. The desire of some to start a new war is well established and a number of countries, and NATO, are determined for it to happen. You have been warned.

10th September, 2025: Still a missing piece

Life is like a jigsaw puzzle, and it's frustrating when a crucial piece remains missing.

Nothing really new to report. I'm watching some of my relatives taking the next step in their lives, but the wife and I remain rooted to the spot. For me personally, I am still looking for that elusive piece of my jigsaw-style life to be found. Where is it? Every time I think I have located it, it turns out to be false hope. It once again was an illusion that just had me thinking this is finally it - that I can move on with my life. The wife also seems frustrated as those who say they want to buy our house keep dithering and delaying their decision - probably to see just how far they think they can drive down the price of our property (the house and the two plots of land it sits upon). To be honest, this is a pain in the neck as it just makes both of us very angry.

This is life, or the lack of it, one could say. Nobody will say upfront if they are not interested in buying from us. They sound keen, go away with an idea of the deal they wish to make, and then go silent. Some make a real 'hoo-ha' of the situation and keep trying to reduce their offer, or make an indirect suggestion we reduce our price until we can entice them to buy. And even then, they will possibly (likely?) still nitpick over some trivial issues hoping to get an even better deal then they initially agreed to. It's like trying to get blood out of a stone with some people. Just sign the contract of sale and get on with it.

The few agents we have asked to advertise our place on our behalf do send us potential clients, but one wonders sometimes if they are sufficiently skilled in helping to close a deal. I mean, which side are they batting for? The latest decision by my wife is to now sell directly by placing a large advertising tarpaulin on the fence to our garden asking potential buyers to 'inquire within' (and forget any agents).

Will we have any success? We are not on the 'main drag' (being at the to-right end of a subdivision with only one access road at the other end), so passing traffic is limited. Perhaps the best we can hope for is a 'word of mouth' referral, but we shall see. I would like to say 'onwards and upwards', but I do get the prevailing feeling my shoes are glued to the ground. Oh dear!

30th July, 2025: Clocks running faster?

Maybe it's my age, but it feels as though time is passing more quickly.

As per usual, not much to report from home. But some of my relatives, now they have their new Spanish passports, are establishing themselves in their new country. It's not easy moving to a whole new environment thousands of miles away, but I do applaud them for the success they have so far achieved. Of course, when I say 'success', I mean most have work and a roof over their collective heads.

Back here in the Philippines, we have had yet another house viewing, but no feedback. If nothing happens in the next week or so, then I'll probably consign this episode to the trash can. The only thing that has changed here is that we have acquired some new 'residents'. A cat gave birth to some kittens right outside our house. Nobody owns it as like most of the cats here, it was feral. But a elderly female neighbour has been feeding it, so the wife left the kittens outside her house. Not the end of the story though. Another cat, believe it or not, also gave birth to kittens (or is it the same cat who moved them there) on the roof of our house (above our kitchen extension, to be precise). Considering the storms and torrential rain we get here, I'm wondering what this cat was thinking. Regardless, you would not think they were there - until the evening when it gets dark. Then we can hear the 'miaowing' as they wait for their mother to return home with some food.

So what will August have in store for me and the wife (Sarah)? Her sister, who lived across the road, is one of our relatives who have moved to Spain. So Sarah is not making her daily trips to her house to chat about ... whatever they get to chat about. I sometimes wonder how they can spend hours doing this, but it is a female thing which I really don't care to ask about.

Oh well, they say there is a right time for everything and not to rush matters. But I hope our right time is going to come soon because it is getting frustrating waiting for it to happen. It's only the sale of our house which is holding us up and stopping us from moving forward with our own lives. The only benefit for the rest of the family is that while Sarah is still here in the Philippines, she can continue to help other family members with their Spanish passport applications. And to be honest, as much as I have the desire to get my life going again, and resolve some health issues, I'd feel guilty about leaving them behind. All said and done though, we should all be moving before the end of the year.

6th June, 2025: Where are we heading?

Still no sale of our property, but we (the wife and I) continue to live in hope.

Over two months have passed since my last post. I have said it before, but time really does fly. And when one has almost reached the age of 71, you cannot even recall where it has gone.

One of the sad facts of life is that too many people are time-wasters. Promises, promises, promises ... but no delivery. We have had numerous viewers of our nice little house, but nobody has followed through yet with a signed contract. Another family visited today. As usual, they look as though they may buy ... but, as usual, I am not holding my breath. I hope we are successful this time around as it is becoming tiresome and frustrating waiting for that magic moment when we can move forward with our lives.

Elsewhere, the war hawks of the West continue to push us towards WWIII. So it's obvious we need to be settled somewhere before things get really serious. But will we be safe in another country? Will anyone feel safe anywhere? At my age I am thinking I don't care any longer. The world we live in grows more dangerous and more unsettled as each day passes. Ergo, the only peace that can be found will be in the next life, the one that exists beyond this material world. But I am in no rush to get there. Everyone has 'their time' and I just have to wait until mine arrives.

The wife will also be 62 this year. I'm sure she is just looking to forward to finally settling somewhere. She has experience of making many moves from one rental property to another. The home we have now is possibly the most secure and lasting since her youthful days. OK, although we purchased the property over a decade ago, we have only lived here for 3+ years (4 years in October).

Update: our current house viewers are acting as agents for someone else. They have said they will return on Sunday. But someone else is coming to view before then. Oh well, time to run around in more circles. Maybe that is why I suffer from regular dizzy spells?

24th March, 2025: Fair bit of interest in our house ...

... but nobody has signed any contract as yet.

Not sure what happened to February's content, but never mind. We've had a number of visitors looking at our humble little abode, and heard lots of positive noises. But you know what it is like. It's a common human trait to look as though you are interested in something, but only then to not follow up such enthusiasm with any action.

But there are other things happening with the 'Olarte Clan' which may bring a blessing (but I'm not holding my breath). It's always, promises, promises, promises. If only there was a more reliable and immediate willing to get things done. My only concern is that I'm getting much older, and things do drag on and at an extremely slow pace. Ambitions and dreams of a decade ago do not seem to be that much closer to being realised. Sad, but true - and to be perfectly honest, I've given up on a lot of them.

I'm also keeping watch over events in Ukraine. That lunatic (Zelenskyy) in Kyiv gets more paranoid as each week passes. He is suffering from a 'persecution complex', something that is more likely in his DNA, but also enhanced by personal experience which has made him crazier than ever. This is why he is such a useful tool for the West ('Globalists') to exploit. He refuses to stand down, call an election, and is using Martial Law as a reason to hold onto power. He's terrified of losing control, and all of the (alleged) financial 'benefits' that he has accrued by being answerable to nobody but his paymasters. In four months time, everything should be finalised concerning his desperate attempt to hold onto what he has. The dust will have settled - but the greatest concern is it will be radioactive dust, and not simply an interpretation of tying up all the loose ends to this political debacle.

22nd January, 2025: A new year begins. Humidity has become my greatest enemy.

As if I did not have enough issues to deal with ...

Escaping from my current environment cannot come quickly enough. The wife has now got her Spanish passport and all that remains is for our house to be sold. As for me, the last several months have seen unusually high levels of humidity in this part of the world (Philippines) and to a level that is utterly unbearable. How much sweat can one produce? Feels like bucketfuls for yours truly as life becomes intolerable.

What makes it worse is that for some reason, and in this wretched country, you cannot buy a dehumidifier machine. If I did have one, it would be take God knows how many of gallons of water out of the air in the house each week. It really is that bad. But what makes it infinitely worse is that the air conditioner ("air con") we have does not help. The very high humidity comes with some very cold air. So one is sweating bucketfuls, but also feeling very chilly. Switch off the air con and one sweats even more. It's a sort of 'inverse' Hell upon Earth.

So, escaping to a much kinder and sympathetic climate is something that I very much desire, and one that is not trying to kill me. And who would have thought I'd miss the British weather?

Further to this torment, I (and others in the family) have also had a nasty virus to deal with. But in my case, it has been much worse. Due to my lung damage, I have come under 'heavy attack' from this bug and it has made me feel like I was dying at times. Enter some powerful antibiotics. If it were not for these, I'm not sure I'd be around to contribute to this blog again. It really has been 'touch-and-go' for me for several weeks, and it has only been the last few days that I have felt that my health is at least improving to a worthwhile degree. But you know what they say, just take a day at a time to get better. It depends if the pills I have remaining are enough to help me regain enough strength to move further forward with my recovery.

That's all for the moment. Hopefully some much better news is not that far way.